Greetings from Gaia!
I was asked to write some letters that will be posted on my blog. Fortunately, I know what a blog is. I read a few of them when I was back in Portsmouth. It reminds me that I miss a lot of things from Earth - like washing machines, dishwashers, and flushing toilets. A nice shower would be good too! And I do miss using my computer.
Of course, no one on this medieval world even knows what a computer is - or a blog. I can just imagine Treena - she's my friend here - scrunching up her face at the sound of the word.
Blog? She'd probably think it was some kind of three-legged creature that lives in the Dark Forest.
With my luck, there
is such a creature, and it probably
does live in the Dark Forest, or in the Misty Marshes, or even the Shadowlands. This place is filled with all kinds of weird things - like Mimicks. Mimicks are neither male nor female. And they can only say the word 'Mimick', so it's really hard to tell what it's trying to say. I've only met one and take a guess at what its name is ...
... Mimick.
It was trying to tell me something the other day, jumping up and down and using its fingers to try to communicate. It was difficult to decipher, but I think I got it. Another Mimick is coming to the castle soon. I wonder if it will look the same as the one I know.
Speaking of funny creatures, the other day I finally met a
dogon. The only way I can describe it is that it's similar to a dog that walks on its hind legs and snorts a lot when it talks. It even licks you when it greets you. That went over well with Shivaughn! She tried to be polite when she got licked, but I could tell that all she wanted to do was grab a handkerchief and wipe off her face as fast as possible. Apparently the dogons live in the Ruins of Seeto, near the Southlands. I heard that
weepers live there too, and they're evil. I haven't seen one, but Kelvin Bo said he has. He looked pale when he mentioned them. I think he's had some trouble with them in the past.
I don't know exactly what date it is, although it's been about a month since that whole Warlock's Plague thing. I'm still recovering from that. They don't keep the same calendar here like back on Earth. When I mentioned the Earth year starts on January 1st, I got some funny looks. Here, it is marked by the passage of the moons. Yes, I said moons - plural. There are two - isn't that cool?!
I heard from my parents the other day. They're doing well and are looking for support to regain my mother's throne. They don't mention too much because I think they are afraid that their messages will be intercepted by spies. Sam is doing well, although lately he's been going into the catacombs a lot - both he and Kippin. I'm not sure why. I had better keep an eye on them.
Treena, Yssi, and Shivaughn are all well. Shivaughn still has some trouble with her cough on certain nights, but otherwise she's good.
Yssi's father and mother came to visit the castle. They wanted to check and make sure that everything was all right since the little incident involving the Warlock's Plague. They almost took Yssi home with them, but she dug in her heels and folded her arms across her chest and told them she wasn't leaving. She's wonderfully stubborn! I'm glad she's staying.
Treena has been trying to teach me magic. It's not easy, and my spell-casting is terrible. I tried to capture a frog the other day with an incantation. It went something like this:
Powers that be, capture this frog,
Hold it in place, like boots in a bog. 
Sure enough Treena got stuck in the bog, and the frog got away.
I have a lot to learn.
Well, I have to sign off for now. I'll write again as soon as I can. I've been so busy with chores here that I've had little time to do much of anything. Master Cobblepot was kind enough to allow me some time to write this letter. He also gave me a feather pen and some parchment. But there's a catch. In return I have to clean out his spittle bowl. Ugh. It is absolutely, most undeniably, the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!
Well, back to my chores and the bowl of goober. Wish me luck!
Take care,
Rudy Doyle
P.S. I swear Darklyn Moat sunk into the bog by another few inches the other day. It seems lower and more crooked than when I got here. If this keeps up, one morning I might wake up surrounded by muck.
